- Nick, I'm desperate, I don't know what to do, I need your help.
- Calmez-vous , Gordon, what can La France do for you and ze Royaume-Uni?
- Well, Nick, Britain's main condom factory had to be shut down for repairs.
Unless I can place an urgent order with you, we are facing unmanageable population growth with all the economic repercussions this entails.
- Gordon, mon ami, zis is not a problème. La France 'as many fabriques de capotes zat work beautifully. What ees it exactly that you need?
- I urgently need 5 million condoms, Nick, just to tide us over for a few days.
- Zis we can do, Gordon, it ees facile. Anything special about zis commande?
- Well, I'm glad you asked, Nick. We would like the condoms to have a length of 16 inches , a diameter of 5 inches , and an imprint of the Union Jack.
- Ah! ah! No problème, Gordon, ah! ah! I weel get zees out to you right away.
Sarkozy hangs up and paces up and down in his office for a while. He just can't believe the required dimensions. Finally, he picks up the phone.
- Allô? Ze condom factory? I need 5 million condoms to be sent to Londres tout de suite, length 40 centimètres, diamètre 12 centimètres , with imprinted Union Jack.
- Sacrebleu, Monsieur le Président, I don't think we 'ave ever made them zis beeg. They are well equipped, les rosbifs. Anything else?
- Oui, replies Sarkozy, on each condom write MADE IN FRANCE and
SIZE: SMALL.
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